The Verdict
by Calzonaforthewin
Summary: The verdict and the fallout
1. Chapter 1

_Callie's POV_

My hands are sweating, my breath held, waiting on the edge of my seat to hear the judge's verdict. I glance over to my ex-wife, she's looking at the floor with tears already falling down her face. This custody battle has taken it out of us, I can see it in her eyes and my own reflection every time I look in a mirror. I never wanted any of this to happen, not in my lifetime, now it's slowly started to settle the past few nights that it's all my doing. As always. I can't lose my daughter, even if it is to a woman I trust with my life, I just can't have "holiday access" and pre-arranged visits. Oh God, this is it.

"After much consideration and taking into account both parent's arguments, I hereby grant sole custody from this moment on to Miss Arizona Robbins"

Oh no. No, no, no, NO! "NO please!" I say a bit loudly and desperately, sinking my head into my hands.

"Miss Torres I know this is difficult but under the circumstances I am judging on what is best for your child. This temporary move to New York seems to be a straight forward move for yourself and your partner, you can adjust to such changes with ease. When it comes to a child of Sofia's age, a change of this magnitude could do more damage than what you have considered. You would be uprooting her youth, her learning, her social bearings, her friends and her family. It is clear to see from the turnout of Grey Sloan members present today that Sofia's family isn't just yourself and Miss Robbins. She has a whole army here for her. If she went to New York, she would be heavily reliant upon you and Miss Blake. As we've heard from Miss Blake herself on stand, she would be working anything from a minimum of 70 hours per week, leaving very little time for both the two of you as a couple and especially with you and Sofia as a unit. So in my eyes, Sofia staying in Seattle was the clear option and for that I am sorry. Visitation plans will be drawn up between Miss Robbins and yourself tomorrow afternoon with both lawyers present." explained Judge Jones "Court dismissed".

I look to my lawyer with daggers who is quick to apologise. I see Penny approaching me cautiously.

"Callie I'm so sorry! Is there anything I can do?" She asks me, I can't even speak right now.

"Callie come on let's get some fresh air" says Meredith who has come up to see me with Owen. I get up to follow them and watch Webber, Bailey, Karev and DeLuca walk up to Arizona who was crying in her hands, I can't even go over there, I need some air.

 _Arizona's POV_

Holy crap. What the hell. They granted me full custody, not her biological mother, me...her mama. I feel my lawyer pat me on the back with congratulations, Sofia stays in Seattle! As excited and happy as I should be, I can't help but breakdown, after quickly glancing at Callie and seeing her destroyed, that threw me over the edge. I've taken her baby away from her, things will never be the same between us again, she'll never forgive me for this, I cry more over the fact I've just put the nail in the coffin for her. I don't know how she'll move past this and that kills me. I can't stop crying, not with happy tears, I feel awful!

"Robbins congrats!" Says Karev.

"You got your baby!" Says DeLuca.

I look over to Callie's table to see she's gone...probably for good. I then look to the people around me, Bailey and Webber look at me and they know how I'm feeling, not in the mood for celebrations. Richard leans down and hugs me whilst Miranda holds my hand.

"What the hell have I just done?" I ask them sorrowfully.

"You did what's best for your daughter so just think of that. You didn't do this for you, or for Torres, you did this for the welfare of your beautiful daughter" justifies Richard and he's right, I didn't do this for anyone apart from Sofia.

"Do you need anything?" Bailey asks me.

"No thanks, I'm just going to sit here a while and process everything. I know it's short notice, but, could I get tomorrow off?" I ask her.

"Of course you can, Karev can do your rounds and let's hope there's no emergency births!" she tells me and nods at Alex who nods at me with a small smile.

"Thanks Alex!" I tell him sincerely and they all leave me alone in the empty court room.

As soon as everyone has gone, my walls break again and the tears flow freely, I can't stop them so I do t even try. This is it, my link to Callie officially gone, that's the end of us indefinitely. I'm not going to make this harder for her than it has to be so I'm not putting any restrictions in for her visits, she can see her baby whenever she wants to, heck I'll even fly her myself to New York every weekend if it gives her a bit of happiness out of all this, this thought alone is enough to make me sob out loud. She's going to New York. I'll never be the one to make her happy. It's Penny, perfect Penny of course, who won't even be there that much so I don't know how their relationship will develop! Stop it Arizona, this is what Callie wanted, I cry some more.

I don't even know how long I've been sat at this table but I think my tear ducts have dried up. I'm just staring into a blank space at the front of the room when I hear the door behind me open and close. I don't even have the energy to move and look who it is. That is, until they sit in the chair next to me and I hear the last voice I expected say a strained "Hey" to me.

I turn my head and look into the saddest deep brown eyes.

"Calliope..."


	2. Chapter 2

"Calliope..."

"I uh, I left my jacket, I didn't think anyone would be left" explained Callie who looked defeated.

"I want to ask how you are but feel that may be a bad question given the events of today" says Arizona to Callie who tears up and looks at the floor to try and regain her composure but failing miserably "oh Cal...can I hug you?" asks Arizona with her eyes glazing over. Callie paused briefly before nodding her head up and down. Arizona instantly embraced her ex-wife and held on tight, both breaking down for various reasons.

"I'm so sorry this happened, I was sure you'd get custody, I had given up hope at the end!" Arizona sobs.

"No you don't have to apologise, I jumped the gun remember, I started this whole thing and it's karma's way of kicking my ass - I'm so sorry for not just dealing with this like mature adults, I'm so sorry I put you through this whole process, I didn't even want you thinking about another loss, let alone actually feel one!" replied Callie, still holding onto Arizona.

"Either way I would have had another loss - I've lost you and I never wanted that. Ever." Arizona sighed, then taking in a deep breath she was consumed by Callie's coconut and papaya shampoo she became so accustomed to. Callie pulls Arizona tighter to her, missing how perfectly they seemed to fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. It wasn't like this with Penny, it was awkward and stiff compared to this melting bodies feeling. Slowly Callie pulled back first, needing a bit of a gap from the blonde.

"You'll always have a good part of me Arizona and we'll always have Sofia...me and Penny are going to book flights for next week" says Callie.

Arizona nods, already missing the feeling of Callie in her arms, it had been too long since they last hugged, maybe it was a comfort thing in the moment.

"Callie I'm not going to stop you seeing your daughter, I never wanted sole custody, we are both Sofia's mothers, equally. That's the end game. So tomorrow, I'm not going to have a schedule of visits - she's your daughter, you see her whenever you need to, I won't stop you and neither will my lawyer. Heck I'll even strap myself in a plane every weekend if that's what you want! I don't want either of you missing out." Arizona informs Callie whose mouth couldn't decide if it wanted to stay open or closed, she put her hand up to her heart and grabbed Arizona's hand with her other.

"Arizona are you serious? You'd do that for me?" asks Callie in disbelief.

"Calliope, I'd do anything for you and Sofia, especially if it made you both happy" Arizona tells her.

"You never wanted any of this huh?"

"Not a single second but hey, that's the universe for you. As if we haven't had enough bad put our way, this is just the icing on the cake!" Arizona jokes, earning a slight chuckle from Callie.

"You know, she doesn't say it the same way you do" says Callie randomly, earning a bewildered face from Arizona.

"What?" asks Arizona in confusion.

"My name...nobody has ever said it with the same effect as you" replied Callie with a small ghost of a smile on her lips, Arizona looks at her and is about to respond when the door to the room opens again. Both looking to the newcomer, Arizona is the first to stiffen.

"Hey I just came to say the cab is outside if you're ready?" Penny says towards Callie. Callie briefly looks at Arizona who has instantly pulled away and is now busying herself with her bag and coat. Callie's heart drops to her stomach but she ignores the feeling and looks at her ginger girlfriend and offers a weak smile.

"Yeh ok let's go" says the Latina, grabbing her coat and looking to the blonde again...Arizona briefly nods her head.

"Guess I'll see you tomorrow...I'll bring Sof and you can have her until you leave if you want?" suggests Arizona, earning a slightly bigger smile from Callie.

"That'd be great, thank you and I'm sorry again" offers Callie, earning another small nod from Arizona accompanied by "me too" who watches her least favourite couple leave the courtroom.

After the slowest count down from 10, Arizona takes a deep breath and leaves the courtroom, thankful THAT part of this battle is finally over.


	3. Chapter 3

Callie's POV

It's been seven days since the verdict and I've been struggling. Not with the situation but with my feelings. My feelings about New York, my feelings about Penny and my feelings about Arizona.

New York - do I really want to move to the other side of the country just for a year and take a job lower than my capabilities, a pay cut, move away from my friends? I'd be starting from scratch, Penny will be doing at least 70 hour weeks for the first few months so we'll hardly see each other, she'll more than likely just come home to sleep on the nights she won't already pass out at the hospital...I'll be doing 45 hour weeks so will have more spare time than I do now but I won't have any friends there to go for a coffee with or lunch...Sof would be in school so I can only be with her in the evenings and on weekends. There's only so many times you can walk around Central Park! Did I jump the gun, not just with saying yes to New York but also with Penny?

Penny - aka Penelope...Penelope & Calliope...Calenope...Penallope...no...when I first met Penny at the club I was a little tipsy...so had no problem getting her number and having a little dance and drunken kiss...it was fun getting to know her, we had a lot in common, more than our names anyway, both work at hospitals, both like pop music...recently I've been trying to think of anything else but I'm drawing blanks. She is a really nice person & could be easy to love...but I've realised its not the kind of love I like...I'm a dramatic romantic at heart...I like the butterflies, the ups and downs, the heat, the passion, the heart beats outside of your body kind of love, like you see in the movies. I just don't think I'll be in love with Penny like that, in fact, in the four big relationships I've had over the past decade, there was only one love that swept me off my feet. It certainly wasn't George or Erica...it was a certain perky, blue eyed, blonde with killer dimples that came in and turned my world upside down. Now THAT love was the Oscar-worthy storyline love.

Arizona - the biggest love of my life. Calzona. Yes. Sure we had enough drama and bad memories throughout our story but there were far more good chapters than bad. We just failed miserably at talking more, this is where we failed, but we shouldn't have failed. We just gave up too easily. I gave up to easily, I walked away from us, Arizona didn't want that - sure she wanted a break, but that break was just a breather from life. We both actually needed that looking back on it, we both needed to have a break from life rather than from each other. Life had tested us to the limits with all the accidents and deaths in both our lives. Life was cruel. We were stronger together, our story doesn't have an end date, not just because we have a beautiful daughter together, but because we're somehow just destined to be in each other's lives. I've certainly tried seeing other people and moving on but what she said in the court last week just floored me. She was a good man in a storm as she has once told my father when she stood up for us and protected our relationship. Arizona won sole custody but she told her lawyer to rip up the paper and gave me shared custody right back the next day, her reason being she never wanted Sofia to have just one mom, she'd already lost a dad, she didn't need anymore loss especially when she hadn't done anything to deserve it. Arizona told me it was also to ensure we were both happy in life, no matter what because none of the rest of it matters. That twice she's used that line on me and both times it worked. The first time, we ended up making love all night. When she said it last week, it took me back to the first time and all the butterflies reappeared in my life. I hadn't felt butterflies since the day 29 of our 30 day break...now they were back and weren't going anywhere. Every text or phone call I receive from her, every board meeting I sit across from her, every time I watch her in surgery...I'm full of butterflies and it's addictive. I missed the butterflies. I only have butterflies with Arizona.

That's why I'm standing outside her house now in the rain, after knocking the door a few times and holding my breath, the door opens and there's the butterflies again...

"Calliope...?" 


	4. Chapter 4

"Calliope...what are you doing here?" Arizona asked astonished to see the brunette on her doorstep in Seattle, she had only spoke with her the previous day to make arrangements for Sofia to go to New York the following week.

Callie looked at Arizona but couldn't control the butterflies flying throughout her body, every time she tried to speak no sound came out. Arizona had on some skinny light grey jeans which showed off her very toned legs and a navy blue jumper which really brought out the blonde hair more and blue eyes. Beautiful..."you look beautiful"...

"Thanks...Callie, are you ok?" the blonde continued, still questioning the appearance of her ex-wife but looking down at her feet to hide a small smile on her face.

Finally gaining control over her body, Callie took a deep breath to clear her lungs and nodded at Arizona.

"I'm good...I just uh...I just needed to come back for a bit and see people. Say things to people, can I see Sof?" Callie asked, stuttering a little.

"She's having a sleepover at Bailey's - Tuck's birthday so all the kids were going to the movies then staying. I just got back from dinner" answered the blonde.

"Oh a date?" Callie prompted, just getting a small nod from Arizona.

"You want to come in?" Arizona told Callie.

"I don't know yet. I need to talk to you and I'm afraid if I come in, I may back out of what I need to say. But now I'm here...and you're right in front of me, I'm not sure if I can say it" responded Callie.

"Okayyyy...would a drink help? I have wine or water...? Or maybe you just need to sit down?" offered the blonde with a smile.

"I called it wrong!" Callie said, wasting no more time.

"What?" Arizona asked.

"Everything! I called everything wrong - with you, with us. That's what I needed to say, I came back just to see you, to tell you I'm to blame really for the way everything turned out with us and to apologise to you! Also, I ran before I could walk" Callie explained almost breathlessly.

"I think you should come in and sit down" said Arizona cautiously, wondering where this conversation was going to end up. Callie took another deep breath and nodded, following her into the lounge and taking a seat on the sofa "wine?".

"Please!" Callie nodded. Callie took the time to look around the living room and smiled when she saw pictures of her little girl, recent photos she hadn't seen before. Arizona came back and sat next to Callie, handing her the wine which she almost drank on the first sip...dutch courage as they say!

"Sooooo...what's going on?" Arizona asked, looking over at Callie, who in her opinion, looks like she hasn't been sleeping lately.

"I want to apologise to you...for everything that went wrong with us. It wasn't your fault, it was all on me. I figure I need to start at the beginning to make sense." Callie replied, getting a nod from Arizona to go ahead.

"I put too much pressure on you...after the plane crash...I pushed you too soon and too much - you weren't ready to come to terms with the accident, or the amputation and I pushed you. Pushed you into normality and you weren't ready. In rehab, with trying new prosthetics, with counselling, connecting with me and Sof. I pushed you too hard, too fast. I ignored the signs from you - from the post traumatic stress to the phantom limb pain to not opening up...I knew these things would happen, as a doctor I knew, but as your wife, I didn't see the signs. I wasn't on the plane, I didn't know what you were feeling, what you went through out there and back here, I didn't know but I wanted to help mend you. I only ended up mending you physically - not mentally or emotionally. That's down to the doctor in me taking control over the wife in me, my switch flicked. I thought if I could build you a new leg, the rest would follow, but it didn't. I didn't support my wife when she needed me the most, I was treating my wife as a patient, trying to fix my patient and that was wrong. I needed to be your wife, not your doctor. Maybe then when you came home from physio, follow ups or counselling, you could have felt like talking to me, but you never did & I figured out - it was because I wasn't being your wife - I was still treating you as a patient" Callie took a few moments and looked at Arizona who was concentrating on what Callie had to say, taking a sip of wine she took another deep breath.

"Somewhere over the following months my switch flicked back over from doctor to wife, but you were so mad, all the time, mainly at me. After a while of no sign of you talking to me or showing any attention or affection I was getting pissed off with you. I was angry right back at you, but we weren't really talking...about much. I know now how selfish I was being, I just wanted to reconnect with you - but it's only in hindsight that I realise you weren't talking to me or opening up for so long because Callie the doctor had been there, not Callie the wife. You needed your wife and for that I'm so deeply sorry! THAT is where we went wrong, where I went wrong and started our downfall. It wasn't on you." Callie honestly spoke, slowly looking at the blonde who had a couple of tears rolling down her cheek.

Arizona was completely floored by this speech, her heart was thumping, the tears slowly rolling down her cheeks, this confession was monumental and she couldn't believe it was happening. She looked over to Callie, who also had tears spelling over the edge, and offered a genuine smile, thankful that the brunette had been so honest and had hit the bullseye. Arizona put her drink down and moved closer to Callie, reaching out her hand to hold the brunette's.

"I thought you weren't good with speeches?!" joked Arizona causing a chuckle to come from Callie.

"Cal, you have no idea how it feels to hear you say that! You got it...I'm sorry I was never able to fully explain it to you, we always ended up snapping at each other when I tried to open up - you'd always be jumping in my sentences which you know winds me up! But yes, that's how I felt and I'm glad now that you understand. I'm sorry though for going against our vows - you didn't cheat, I did. So even if you were treating me as a patient and not your wife, we argued when we talked, you pissed me off and I pissed you off, we took it out on each other. The way you were treating me - like I wasn't your wife - is what drove me to be weak - I felt like you didn't want me on any kind of intimacy level - even talking. So when Lauren came in and was paying attention to me as a woman, not a patient, it was like I could breathe for a while and just be me...Arizona...who didn't have issues and was just fun and flirty - the one you met years ago in Joe's bathroom. So, you think you started our downfall but I'm the one the put the nail in the coffin as they say. We never came back from that, you could never trust me after it and I understand why, but I couldn't ask you to." Arizona explained to Callie.

This raw honesty was effecting both ladies on the sofa, both now a mess of loose tears but still holding hands. They both looked at each other, then to their clasped hands, which Arizona was now rubbing her thumb over Callie's hand.

"Can I give you a hug?" Callie asked.

"Of course" said Arizona.

The women both leaned into each other - Callie's hands automatically going over Arizona's shoulders, whilst Arizona's went under Callie's arms and around her back...this felt right. For both of them. They always seemed to fit together perfectly. Both content with the feeling, they stayed like this for a minute longer before finally pulling away.

"Why the hell did we waste so much money with our marriage therapist when we could have just done this?!" Callie joked.

"Because THIS" Arizona now pointing her finger between herself and Callie "is what we lacked, we always have - the communication, which now I can see is why it's so important and has such an effect!" Arizona replied.

"Yeh but we always preferred more...open...communication?!" smirked Callie, clearly her mind going back to many of those conversations, Arizona picked up on this and felt her cheeks grow hotter.

Months. It had been a few months since Arizona had slept with someone, and only that was the first time she had since her and Callie had divorced. So right now, in this moment with all these emotions and truths coming out, knowing the fact Callie had flown half way around the country tonight to come and tell her everything...she was getting butterflies.

"Calliope..."


End file.
